Miyerkules, Hulyo 24, 2013

Rants, frustrations, confusions and other what nots

It has been a while since the last time I posted something in this blog. I was busy in school.
Two weeks ago, I received a message saying,

“Hi. You’re scheduled for an interview tomorrow, 2pm at the NEDA infrastructure staff conference room, 3rd floor NEDA-sa-Pasig bldg., #12 josemaria escriva drive, ortigas center, pasig city. Kindly reply for confirmation and bring copies of your TOR, diploma and certificate of eligibility tomorrow. Thank you.”
Well obviously it came from NEDA (National Economic Development Authority) for people who do not know what NEDA means, yes there are people who don’t. Anyway, I was scheduled for an interview after submitting a resume via email. I just tried honestly because I wanted to experience having interviewed by agencies/entities for employment purposes. I was very happy when I received that message of course. I went to the scheduled interview without preparing, not even reading NEDA’s mandates, I was shocked as I entered the room, eight people were there to interview me. I seated infront, at the center. It was a good experience until I got another message saying I’m scheduled for an interview with the Infrastructure Staff Director. The Director interviewed me. That’s when things got a little bit out of order. I got confused because, well, really, that’s NEDA, a government entity in charge of the country’s economy. If ever they employ me, how could one say no to such a wonderful opportunity but how can one say no to a childhood dream?

I can’t sacrifice my law dream. I am a planner, since grade 2 I know I wanted to become a lawyer, I did everything and I will do everything else to get that. I’m already in the first step of formal law education, will I have to defer it? On the other side, NEDA is the only entity that can move me out of law school really, if ever I decided to focus on econ, that is the first agency I will apply to. We’re econ majors, we have to be in NEDA. But is it great enough to make me defer law? I already decided in favor of law but now as how things are going in school, am I really for law?

When I took the NEDA exam, which by the way I passed, and have to absent myself in criminal law because I was not ready that day, the exam lasted whole day, that’s when I got three failing recit grades for two consecutive meetings. My record before that was relatively good. The day when I got my first two failed recit grades, my classmate Jobel, introduced me to her Boyfriend “uy si April pala, April Boyfriend ko. *Hi!* Alam mo ba, magaling to, laging nakakasagot kay Amurao”. And during the second meeting when I got the third failed recit grade, Francis, another classmate introduced me to his friend “Si April, magaling to sa class, Amurao killer to eh”. I was thinking, nabati yata ako eh. Of course that’s lame but I just wanted to cheer myself up. But really what happened? I already got the rhythm and all of a sudden, I got failed grades when my classmates are already catching up. I don’t know, I don’t know what the problem is, that’s the problem.

One time when I was studying in the library, I stopped, looked around, thinking, who among these people will be lawyers in the future? Passing rate in the bar last year was only 17%. What happened to the 83%? I’m pretty sure they also studied day and night but still they weren’t able to pass. I realized, for the next 4 yrs or so, my life will only revolve in the library, eight hours study time a day. When I examined how I have been spending my 24 hrs, it goes like this, 9 hrs study, 7 hrs sleep, 5 hrs class, 1 hr lunch, 1.5 hrs breakfast/bath, 1.5 hrs dinner/bath. Am I really ready for that kind of life?


I introduced the distraction. I must be the one to get my focus back. Law is what I wanted. Law is what I must get.

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